Isn't it strange how sometimes you can feel as if you've lost yourself. And yet you can feel so oh completely whole.






- Drink up baby doll | Are you in or are you out? | Leave your things behind | 'Cause it's all going off without you -

Almost at the two month mark, yet here I am again. Life has been interesting (if not different) with contentment whispering by my side. I'm not as fussed nor am I as aggravated. Health issues still overcome me and disappointment has never been too far away. But I'm learning I'm learning and my Pillar of strength has never failed me.

People come and people go. Yet now and again I find myself returning to the things that I hold dear. Time is sometimes a catalyst for change yet time can also remind us of the beauty of returning to the familiar. To relive those days gone past. To listen to those songs we used to sing. To feel those emotions that used to define who we are...

- You know you are my lover | You got me twisted over you -

I do find that I am at a loss for words. Walking through Picasso the other day, a girlfriend told me that I should write again. That I should not lose the creativity in me. That I should not let my gift go to waste. I couldn't help but agree. I've always lamented at how my writing no longer holds any magic even for myself. Yet I find that life just has too many demands, too many requirements. And the need to conform overpowers the need to be. Life sometimes means pleasing those who must be pleased. It sometimes means letting go of ideas, of dreams, of wishes, just to take one more step forward.

Perhaps. Perhaps the world has taken its toll. And perhaps even age places a layer of fog over our eyes. Do I bewail the loss of my youth. The loss of my dreams. The loss of what I would like to believe as my unbound spirit. I don't really know. Because even though I feel so completely different from who I used to be. Even though I no longer feel that burning within my soul. I can't imagine being anyone. or anything. but me.

Strange isn't it. How I feel like I've faded away. And yet. I don't really mind.

- Sweet how we see the big picture when your life's not on the line | I know the way but do you see what I see | A tortured life always second guessing the bookie | No one ever said it was going to be easy -





_{To another month.}